Lists

I wrote my life into two lists. The “goods” and the “bads”.

List one, “goods”:
Soy milk in my cereal
A puppy in the rain
The broken picture frame
A batgirl nightlight, only $12.95 on e-bay
The dried emerald green ink in the little glass container

List two, “bads”:
My stockings need a drawer of their own
A stack of unread New York Times on the chair in the kitchen
Tea is really the only drink to be had
No scissors allowed in the house, especially pink handled ones
Web comics take up my computer memory
Diet every other month, inconsistently
Lost the goldfish on a walk; he looked bored
Cellphones are government tools
Area 51 is my obsession
Bigfoot isn’t real
My nail polish is ordered alphabetically; there are three rows in the bathroom cabinet
The stain on the kitchen wall is when I threw spinach
I lost my keys for the fourth time this week

They will not love me after I hand them these lists, even if I just hand them the “goods”. I have to give them to them though and I can’t decide if this compelling act goes under good or bad. Maybe they’ll know.