Even So

My hands trailed over her arms, down the softening curves to the already delicate wrist. Wrapping my long fingers about the bones and lifting her hands upwards to my lips, I planted a kiss to each center of her palms. Her hands smelled of vanilla and lavender. I inhaled deeply, dragging the scent down into my being. Everything about her felt feminine, smelled feminine, and tasted feminine to me. My heart thrummed in excitement, pushing a heated flow of blood through my body.

When I drew closer and placed my lips against her neck, her breath hitched and those delicate, short fingers buried their way into my hair. It was long enough that her nails didn’t quite touch along my skin but she tugged and it sent thrills through my body. A deep, aching hunger for her grew.

Her hesitation vibrated through her, drawing her back away from me. She ducked her head and I could feel the way her eyes darted across the floor. I couldn't possibly understand her feelings, but I knew mine. Everything I saw standing before me was beautiful. The way one of her legs curled around the other, foot hooking over her ankle to keep balance as she tried to hide.... Her hands twisting like twittering birds along the front of her sundress.... The hair that cascaded about her shoulders in soft curls....

Afraid that noise would spook her, my hands reached out softly and brushed along her arms again, smoothing down her dress, and settling on her hips. "You look perfect to me."

The sharp green stare that met my eyes stopped my heart a moment. And her smile killed me.

"Even though...." She gestured between my hands and my eyes are drawn there. I could see the outline of her arousal, thick and heavy beneath her dress.

"Even though," I said as I sunk to my knees and kissed across the top of her hips, palming her erection. "You. Are the prettiest woman. I have ever met." I smiled up and set to work making her forget any issues she had with her pre-transitioned body.

Stubble and Dresses

Sometimes, the stubble that lined Remy’s face was perfect. Fitting. It brought out this masculinity to their form that they enjoyed. Today though, as they stood in front the mirror hanging from their door, every inch of them looked wrong. They flattened their hands over their chest, the pecs completely the wrong shape and feeling. The pecs were muscle, not soft and giving flesh. They were for a man, not a woman.

Their hands moved down their stomach, and to anyone else, it might have been considered perfect. But they wanted soft. They wanted curves. They wanted a body that would fit nicely in the summer dress laid out on the bed, but this one wouldn’t do. Remy frowned, ran their hand over their face and feeling it roughed against the scruff. That was easy enough, a shave and lotion, then makeup. But this stupid body.

“Hun, you almost ready? We’re going to start the barbecue up.”

The voice of their mother startled them from their self-hate reverie. “Yeah, almost!” They called back, pitching their voice up an octave. It was better, but not perfect.

Remy’s mother was perfect about all of this. She supported Remy, talked Remy into a therapist, and had bought the dress that sat on the bed. They were lucky that way, having a family that supported them, but it didn’t completely take away the pain of those feminine moments when nothing seemed okay.

With a sigh, Remy turned from the mirror and hurried to the bathroom. Shave, makeup. Then into the dress and no looking at a mirror again. Let the family tell them they looked nice, and maybe then they would believe it.

As Remy stepped outside with bare feet, their mother turned a smile towards them. “Oh, it fits! Good. It’s a pretty color on you.”

Remy smiled, though it didn’t feel as sincere as they’d tried to make it. “Thanks, mom.” They hugged her, knowing they couldn’t get out of it once their mother’s arms wrapped about them. They inhaled deeply and the smell of baked goods plus a sweet rosy perfume pervaded their senses, triggering memories of ‘mom’ immediately. Home was good, the dress was good, and they would be damned if they let today be anything other than good.